Enjoying being vegan

A search i have led most of my life as we all do for some better understanding of why we are here and what are we supposed to do with our lives has brought me this far. I don't think i have achieved anywhere near my final plateau. Even though i feel i have a greater understanding today than i did several years ago, i only feel close to God when i remind myself of the relationship i used to have. I used to talk to him every morning, all day. Like a friend. That's probably half my problem, seeing today the god within each of us and learning how to enjoy and be fulfilled by the god in all of us and not just in the spiritual place i hold in my heart. God is greater than i thought, and i find it harder to get closer without first wanting to understand my new pace in the scheme of things, in comparison to how i see things now.

     I am Vegan, this is what I remind myself every time I can't figure out what I want to eat.  Wanted a cigarette today too.  Wish the cravings would slow down! Keep reading that I will stop desiring the foods that my body doesn't need.  I have noticed that I am enjoying the foods thought that I have been eating.  All new to the palate and happy and surprised that I am liking them.  Will admit that it has been hard to get past (not yet past it) the longing for the "old" way.  Some things may take longer than the three weeks they say it takes to create a habit. 

     Supper was interesting; I was adventurous as my daughter said.  I cut slices and then pieces of Polenta and added them to boiling water to see if they would become dumplings.  Also bioled flax tempeh and put slivers of toffuti mozzerella cheese on it.  I felt like I was missing something so I ate an apricot with it and 12 oz's of green smoothie.
     Working on my rendition of next supermarkets' adventure.  Sat down to make a list today and before I realized it I was only making the list to calm my mind down and refocus.  It helped.

Vegan - 2 week anniversary

     Keep having internal conversations with myself on what I am going to post next and haven't been able to get here.  The texting posts were a fail :(  So that lost an easy option. 
     Had my major food shopping episode on Wednesday.  Ended up going to Adams, Hannafords, and Stop and Shop; didn't even have time to go to Mother Earth.  Adams had an awesome selection of clean healthy fruits and vegies.  Started the trip with a list which was really helpful till I lost it midway through the first store; but I survvived even if my wallet doesn't agree.

     Very proud of myself I am officially Vegan for 2 weeks now.  I read a lot about others and their journeys and realize that so many people have a save the animals view; mine is a bit different eventhough the outcome may be similar.  I believe in giving everything with life it's ability to survive.  With this said I am even struggling with why plants are not considered alive; i mean I talk to my plants, keeps em happy!  Will admit that I kill the mosquitoe before I think of it as a life.  Obviously stil have some things to figure out. 
     I changed over my carry bag.  Coming from the Bag Lady this was no easy task.  My Veganism and my Patriotism go together in this case in choosing the right bag for me.  Almost impossible to find a bag strong enough with no leather and made in the USA.  Found one and have an enormous bag full of bags I am going to get rid of; maybe ebay. 
     The reason behind going to 3 different supermarkets ended by mistake working out really well.  The problem began when I lost the original list and it caused me to have to go back, and go back.  The fresh foods store does not have good prices on the everyday staples and household miscellaneous items.

      I enjoyed my first homemade green shake :)  I did it all by myself and put a little of practically everything in it.  Started with some almond milk as a base, then added some blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, kiwi, broccoli, spinach, banana, grapes, and a nectarine.  I liked it!  Next time I think I should not eat any of the kiwi skin.  Something sat in the back of my throat being scratchy.  But delicious :)
     I am going to make a basic list of things I enjoy that are okay to eat.  I find I will go looking for something to eat and old habits hit and right away I think of a bowl of cereal or a sandwich with ham n cheese.  I am not upset to not be eating this; rather happy actually that I finally made the push to do what I feel strongly about.  Boy when you're hungry though it makes that quick decision much easier of I can look at a list that says hey have peanut butter on your whole wheat bread, or oatmeal or a banana.  I remember way too often as I am walking out the door that I haven't eaten anything and really do not want to waste the money on something else when there is plenty at home.

I made amazing vegan pancakes today. So proud of myself, the kids liked the sweetened version with chips of course, but even they said it was great!
I keep going through my mind to pinpoint the primary motive for this change. Its a tremendous undertaking that i never would have thought I could do and here without looking back I am accomplishing more than I ever thought I could. Spirituality is the primary reason but health comes a close second. Deciding that I would like to try to be the Mom my children need till they are way into their own families! I wanna be a grandmother someday, and I really need to know I can take care of my disabled son for as long as he needs me.
I am Vegan, that's it. This is my path, I finally found it; or it found me.
~Namaste~

Today went okay. Quiet for a Saturday,but i stuck to it. Made pasta, separated mine and added brown sugar and gave the kids the alfredo with bacon. Got use it up somehow. At least when its all gone even i wont have the temptations, i just cant throw it out!
~Namaste~

     This journey does not feel like any change I have ever made before.  There is a conviction to this life enhancing way that feels so strong and so right.  A conviction I haven’t had before; feeling right about something and knowing it’s the right thing to do.  Even my marriages weren’t that way.  My children were!  Always knew I wanted them, no doubt!  No doubt that going Vegan and preserving what I can of Life and it’s energy within all things is Right.  The benefits of decreasing my carbon footprint, and reversing disease within my body, and maintaining a healthy weight all seem like just a bonus.

     My life as a child was a constant reminder of “eating healthy” and there were certain foods that were required staples; milk is one of those.  It made my first reaction to going Vegan seem impossible, I enjoy milk; some of it is even psychologically because I know it’s good for my strong bones and good teeth.  Hmmm, well what happened to my teeth? and thank dharmaness I can’t see inside myself too know what my bones really look like in case they look anything like my teeth :(   

     I was reading in “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Vegan Cooking” and discovered something completely new!  Did you know that cow milk can actually aid in the deterioration of your bones because the more acidic animal proteins our body takes in (Milk), the more it needs to compensate by releasing calcium from the bones to balance out the pH level of our system.  We are going through a middle man (or cow) so to speak, by drinking cow milk, because they are getting it from the fruits, vegetables, nuts, and whole grains we could just be eating from directly.

     I have searched the remaining foods in my home to find what will hold me over till shopping day; was happy to find the frosted shredded mini-wheat’s.  Vegan. Yay!  Amazing how many foods I never thought twice about.  I really am enjoying this Venture to a better place on my Path.  The challenge is more of a rush, exciting learning something new about myself.

      Didn’t even know I liked vinaigrette until the other day :)  New favorite on the shopping list!  Had it with a bowl full of basil and arugula, even ate an olive! (that really is a first!)

     Didn't think I would be able to think up something for everyday.  I should have known I would have too much too say to even consider that!  I have been 95% successful in my Veganism this past week.  It's tough to feel like I didn't make it because I didn't read all the ingredients :(  I made some rice for lunch yesterday and wanted something crunchy, all I could find were chips.  Half way through eating lunch I realized like a dummy that I was eating sour cream and onion potatoe chips; duhh--milk in the sour cream.  

     I did not know what would be the hardest thing to give up, now I realize that of all of it I think cheese is The most difficult, half because I don't even realize how many foods have it within their ingredients for flavor enhancers; even breadcrumbs!  I found an article as well yesterday that discusses cheese being the most difficult for many new Vegans, too true.  Each day as I read through my new books and magazines to help encourage and support my path I write down recipe additions to my shopping list so that i can better prepare something I know I will enjoy.  A bit tricky when I really have not been enough of a vegetable or salad person to start with.  I do find already though that the flavors of foods are more pronounced.  I quit smoking for the last time on August 5th 2011 and my taste buds thanked me then.  This push into being Vegan has given it back the last buds I had been keeping blindfolded for years.  Makes this Venture even more comforting thinking I know I will enjoy what I'm eating and will stick to this new way of life.  

     I am set up for the yoga class next Tuesday and am deciding which extra class to go to so I can make up my missed class.  May just be a meditation class; probably what I need the most!

With my body still trying to compensate for the changes it is going through, I am trying to keep up with the amount of energy I have (which is great) and keep a balance with the amount of energy to use up.  Hint: do not try pushing the stalled car up hill by yourself!)  But I tried and my back is yelling at me along with the chipped vertebrea :(  But I feel okay considering.  I feel good, mentally and physically.  I know I am on the right path.  For the first time I feel like I am where I belong.  Silly sounding, but true.  Crazy long dreams each night lately, very vivid and real, but good and full of details, have to keep writing more of them down and see if I can keep more of the details straight too.

     Yoga class yesterday ran into one too many snafu's :( I did manage to pay for the yoga sessions just before 6pm though a, but will have to attend a make-up class to get back yesterdays missed class. Maybe Thursday; we'll see.

     Really hungry today, and thankfully, it was enough to nudge me into eating real salad today!  I had it with raspberry vinaigrette dressing which actually tasted good.  I don't have enough of the "new" foods at home yet to get a very varied diet, but I knew if I said to wait till I could go food shopping it would just be another excuse not to start yet.  I am truly inspired to see this through.  It's personal and yet at the same time I see it as something for everyone as well.  Something for all our benefit.  I know this journey for me is more spiritual that anything else.  For many it seems to be dietary.  I also admit this is dietary but only as far as reversing any physical illness within me. 

     I keep planning my next food shopping event, yes I have begun to refer to it as an event, so that I won't forget something I think I won't make it without.  I have decided that oatmeal is going to be a staple for me, a good backup and safe food that stays within my acceptable parameters.

     The kids are watching me in the initial stages and they seem bewildered because they have always known me as a dairy, cheese, pasta,& chicken person.  This for me is almost like giving up a food for fasting yet I am choosing for it to be a lifelong commitment rather than a day, a week, or lent.  I want to accomplish this for my own enlightenment.  I know this is already helping me refocus my thoughts to where they should be and to what really is important.  Our internal growth needs this piece of sanity and it will be exactly what has been missing from my family.

     This website has an exceptional list of items Vegan.  I have begun a list of items for order on here that I may or may not be able to find in the store.  Hoping that between Mother earth and Adams I shouldn't have to go broke going Vegan.

A book called "vegan in 30 days" by Sarah Taylor is one of the books I'm using to help me get moving.  It's a softer approach to a surmountable task.  Even has sort of homework assignments to do each day to help you get into the intricacies I may not have thought were included in this transformation.  

Also purchased "Vegan's Daily Companion" by Colleen Patrick-Goudreau; this has been enjoyable so far as well, actually harder not to read ahead of my self and try to delve completely into each day and get the most out of it, and not just read on like one long story.  

My life story after I have hopefully achieved Vegan status will be long enough!  I am also putting together a swashbuckling collection for the supermarket from several resources to make up the right list that fits me and my children.  From Gluten free kids to lactose free to preservative free to the "Fruitatarian", don't forget my ambitions; there's a lot to take into account.

And away we go...

     I have begun a journey to find My Path.  In doing so many new and exciting journeys have opened up in front of me.  I may not have thought they were all exciting until I related them to spiritual and personal growth.  My growth. 
      This growth from self has showed me Sanatana Dharma, and respect for life; including mine and all those around me.  I feel a sense of responsibility to do my best to protect life and protect it's sanctity.  To protect the care and well-being of life, either human or animal, even plant!  And yes we still have to eat; so this journey will be especially challenging; I may not pass every obstacle, might even have an epic fail on the way; but at least I know I'm trying; that counts!